If you knew you could handle anything that came your way, what would you have to fear?
Fear. That one little word that has the ability to stop you in your tracks.
How many people do you know are out there in the world doing all the things that put the fear of God into you? Setting up their own business, conducting presentations, public speaking, going for a promotion, promoting their business on social media, making calls to bring in new business, investing in their self development, applying for an evening course, asking someone on a date, taking a driving test, changing careers, getting a health concern checked out……
If you ‘needed’ that fear in order to survive, then we would all be fearful of the same things. But we aren’t.
It’s natural when you step out of your comfort zone, to feel a bit anxious or worried, but as the title of the book by Susan Jeffers says, you can ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’.
Unfortunately that realisation isn’t one people practice each day. Instead what I observe is people placing their faith in fear.
You may be reading this and thinking ‘why would anyone place their faith in fear?’. On the surface, I agree it seems a crazy thing to do, but think about it for a moment.
Have you ever gone into ‘worst case scenario thinking?’
Have you thought about a future event and rehearsed all the things that could go wrong? Do you consciously worry about things that have yet to happen instead of trusting everything will work itself out?
Do you hold onto the fear that there is something wrong with your physical health even though you have no evidence of that being real? Do you surf the Internet looking for evidence that something is wrong with your health in order to validate your fear?
Now ask yourself ‘do you place your faith in fear?‘.
Witnessing your fearful patterns is the first step to detaching from them.
Unless you look at fear head on, fear is your reality. But the truth is fear is simply….
When I first moved to Scotland, I had to start calling up organisations to get my corporate training company out there. I’ll be honest – I hated cold calling.
When I still lived in Brighton and had begun delivering wellbeing training, I had companies and HR Directors come to me! Opportunities to work with companies just seemed to land in my lap.
But in Scotland, nobody knew me. I faced the fear and asked myself ‘what’s getting in the way of me picking up the phone?’. I realised it was the fear of rejection.
Once I stopped trying to run away from myself and faced the fear, the fear more than halved and some good old EFT banished that fear for good.
How to feel the fear and do it anyway
Instead of trying to control the conditions of a situation and fear of the outcome, face the fear head on and ask yourself what’s really going on?
Fear is simply resistance to a negative outcome wrapped in the belief that you can’t handle the situation. Trying to control something because you fear the outcome gets in the way of your natural ability to thrive.
I once recall reading a line in a book that said ‘if you can be open to the worst happening, then you are free’.
That doesn’t mean go into worst-case scenario thinking, it simply means to trust that what ever happens, you will be OK and you will handle it.
The ego can’t survive without fear, so the sneaky beast will do what it can to keep you locked in a state of fear. This is why witnessing your fear-based patterns is the first giant leap to overcoming your fears.
Note down what thoughts trigger your fears? What emotions do you experience when you feel fear? How do your fears impact your behaviours, your happiness and success in life?
Like all inner shifts, change is based on commitment and consistency. Do this simple, but powerful exercise everyday for 40 days and watch that old fear loose its power over you….
Every time that old fear comes knocking at the door, face the fear and affirm to yourself over and over again ‘I am willing to face my fear. My fear is not who I truly am’.