Every day as a therapist I get to work with clients at dissolving the limiting beliefs they hold about themselves, their potential and what limits they are really capable of reaching. Many people don’t really know how they can truly shine because they remain within their own comfort zone. However the comfort zone isn’t reality. It’s an artificial place created only by one’s own mind.
So how do you change your life? Change your limiting beliefs!
A belief is only a thought that you keep thinking. Why is it important to know that? Because when you want something and you believe in opposition to it, your opposite belief will prevent you from achieving or obtaining what you really desire. For example you may want to be in a relationship with someone with all your heart, yet if you have a belief playing in the background that you are unlovable, you will subconsciously self sabotage any opportunities to develop a healthy loving relationship.
“We are what we repeatedly do, excellence is not an act it is a habit.” Aristotle.
Who are you and who are you allowing yourself to be? What are you actually allowing within yourself? You know the way when you fall in love you see life through new lenses? Suddenly the world seems a different place and you feel you can go anywhere and do anything? Yet what gets in the way of life being like that all the time? The voice in your head feeding your beliefs. That voice that is often so buried in your subconscious that you can’t hear it, but it’s there and it speaks of doubt, fear and disbelief.
Try something new today. Try thinking a thought that you don’t believe long enough that you start to believe it!
“True change takes place in the imagination” Thomas Moore
What limiting beliefs are preventing you from being the person you really desire being? Have the courage to go in search of your beliefs. Our core beliefs were formed before we were aged 6 and as we grew up we went in search of evidence that these beliefs were true. That promotion we didn’t get at work may for example add to the pile of evidence that we aren’t good enough. Our beliefs were created in a moment of time and yet follow us around like a shadow for the rest of our life unless we find a way to escape them.
You may recognise them through thoughts such as……
……. “I am unlovable”
…….“I am not good enough”
…….”The world is an unsafe place”
…….”I have to be perfect”
……..”I don’t deserve happiness”
Yet the wonderful thing about our mind, even our subconscious mind, is that we are able to change it. If you think of your conscious mind as being a gardener and your unconscious mind as being made from soil, as the gardener you can plant seeds. Given the right environment, climate and nurturing, the seeds will begin to grow. We started to plant these seeds at a very young age based on the information we were given by our parents, grandparents, teachers, carers, television and even friends. Yet some of the seeds we have planted have turned to weeds rather than beautiful blooming flowers. Unfortunately like a computer, the subconscious mind has no reasoning so it isn’t able to weed its garden, it just keeps on growing whatever is planted in there. So if we want a garden that is full of flowers and foliage we need to weed the garden.
A new belief can be formed in 21 days. So take a moment to think about something that you really desire that hasn’t yet manifested in your life. It could be a new relationship, a career, owning your own home, going travelling, losing weight, entering a sporting competition, making more money, starting a family or any other plethora of things. Then consider what has stopped these things from happening. Listen carefully to the voice in your head, even if you don’t like what it is saying to you. It can be helpful to take a piece of blank paper and write down in the middle what you want to change. For example write money in the middle and then write down what comes to your mind when you think about money. Don’t try to analyse it, just let it flow. In here you will find one or more of your core beliefs about money.
When you have identified one or more of your beliefs, develop a positive belief to replace it. For example if you do want a new relationship but have identified that you haven’t attracted one because you don’t believe you have anything to offer someone else, then your new belief may be: I believe that I have lots to offer another person. I am kind and generous, a good listener and fun to be with’. Then every morning for the next 21 days repeat the new belief to yourself. It isn’t enough to simply say it; you have to say it with real feeling for it to be recognised by your subconscious mind, because your subconscious mind works with your emotional brain. Even looking in the mirror when you say it helps to build up that feeling.
I knew when I set up the business and left behind a career in the corporate world that it was going to be tough but I had to believe I could be successful. I had achieved a reasonable level of status in my previous roles as an HR Manager but setting up my own business as a psychotherapist was something else entirely. I hadn’t touched, tasted, seen or heard my success, but I could feel it right to the core of my being. Every day I told myself that this was the beginning of something big, that there were so many people out there that would benefit from my help. When people asked me how business was, I told a different story – I told them the business was quickly picking up new clients that my profile as a therapist was starting to grow and everything was just a matter of time. There were days I certainly didn’t think it, but I told myself regardless until I truly started to believe it and guess what…..my story started to come true.
Once these new productive beliefs are in place they will start to become second nature to you and will support the overall goals of where you want to go and who you want to become.